This all resonates so deeply for me. I used to work in the corporate world, in IT. I worked 60-80 hours a week, in a highly stressful environment. 14 years ago, I got sick and have been chronically ill ever since. In retrospect, it is obvious to me that what happened was not uncommon for AFAB late-diagnosed Autistics. I crashed and burned, and was unable to work at all for several years. Since then, I haven't worked more than 20 hrs a week, and mostly, less than that.
At the time I crashed, I was undiagnosed. I didn't know I was Autistic, and had no idea why it was so hard for me to "fit in." I never liked any of my jobs, and I never felt respected or valued at any of them, except for one boss who took me under her wing. Even then, the environment was brutal. I know I'm not alone in this; I don't think I know anyone who works in a corporate environment who feels comfortable there. Our cultural aditude about what is expected and condoned in most work environments is not conducive to well-being, especially for workers who are already marginalized in society.
Thanks for sharing, LC. This resonates with my experience of leaving my job, although it's only been a few years for me. I am still having trouble accepting that I cannot do what I seemingly used to be able to do. There's such a disconnect between tech jobs being seen as "comfy" from the outside and the intense pressure and stressful communication which leads to burnout especially in neurodivergent people.
Oh, yeah, that's a great point about the disconnect. I think people who've never worked in tech jobs think they're basically a cushy, high-paying romp. I didn't realize you used to work in tech, as well. We're both tech expats!
Hi Emily, thanks so much for your kind and supportive comment! I appreciate you sharing your experience. I'm sorry you are in acute burnout. That can be so frustrating to be in the middle of.
It's interesting that you bring up how quickly the burnout came on - I've never thought about that before. I feel like for the two most major burnouts I've had, it took months, perhaps over a year, for the burnout to really set in. Slow enough that I didn't realize what was happening. I still don't think I've really recovered.
Sending love to you and hope you find some changes that work for you to make things better as time goes on. Thanks for reaching out!
Thanks for asking, Emily, and for sharing your experience! I've been thinking about this question, what was the breaking point when I realized I was in burn out.
The first time I've identified I was in burn out was around 2012. I was in college and got pneumonia and took a long time to recover. I did not realize that was burnout until pretty recently as I was looking back on my experiences and recognized some shared feelings and symptoms.
Around 2021, I was in burnout with some symptoms that I am still learning to understand and have not entirely gone away. I've found that it was very helpful to hear from autistic people sharing what burnout feels like. I experience shutdowns and meltdowns and learned for the first time that other people also have this experience. Having difficulty communicating when I'm stressed or have overextended myself is another big one for me.
So I guess I reach the breaking point first, then at some point later when I can think more clearly, perhaps I identify what I am feeling as burnout.
I'd be very interested in reading your upcoming pieces on burnout! Looking forward to your research and thoughts. Thank you!
This all resonates so deeply for me. I used to work in the corporate world, in IT. I worked 60-80 hours a week, in a highly stressful environment. 14 years ago, I got sick and have been chronically ill ever since. In retrospect, it is obvious to me that what happened was not uncommon for AFAB late-diagnosed Autistics. I crashed and burned, and was unable to work at all for several years. Since then, I haven't worked more than 20 hrs a week, and mostly, less than that.
At the time I crashed, I was undiagnosed. I didn't know I was Autistic, and had no idea why it was so hard for me to "fit in." I never liked any of my jobs, and I never felt respected or valued at any of them, except for one boss who took me under her wing. Even then, the environment was brutal. I know I'm not alone in this; I don't think I know anyone who works in a corporate environment who feels comfortable there. Our cultural aditude about what is expected and condoned in most work environments is not conducive to well-being, especially for workers who are already marginalized in society.
Thanks for sharing, LC. This resonates with my experience of leaving my job, although it's only been a few years for me. I am still having trouble accepting that I cannot do what I seemingly used to be able to do. There's such a disconnect between tech jobs being seen as "comfy" from the outside and the intense pressure and stressful communication which leads to burnout especially in neurodivergent people.
Oh, yeah, that's a great point about the disconnect. I think people who've never worked in tech jobs think they're basically a cushy, high-paying romp. I didn't realize you used to work in tech, as well. We're both tech expats!
Yes, completely agree. That's cool that we both used to work in tech! :)
Hi Emily, thanks so much for your kind and supportive comment! I appreciate you sharing your experience. I'm sorry you are in acute burnout. That can be so frustrating to be in the middle of.
It's interesting that you bring up how quickly the burnout came on - I've never thought about that before. I feel like for the two most major burnouts I've had, it took months, perhaps over a year, for the burnout to really set in. Slow enough that I didn't realize what was happening. I still don't think I've really recovered.
Sending love to you and hope you find some changes that work for you to make things better as time goes on. Thanks for reaching out!
Thanks for asking, Emily, and for sharing your experience! I've been thinking about this question, what was the breaking point when I realized I was in burn out.
The first time I've identified I was in burn out was around 2012. I was in college and got pneumonia and took a long time to recover. I did not realize that was burnout until pretty recently as I was looking back on my experiences and recognized some shared feelings and symptoms.
Around 2021, I was in burnout with some symptoms that I am still learning to understand and have not entirely gone away. I've found that it was very helpful to hear from autistic people sharing what burnout feels like. I experience shutdowns and meltdowns and learned for the first time that other people also have this experience. Having difficulty communicating when I'm stressed or have overextended myself is another big one for me.
So I guess I reach the breaking point first, then at some point later when I can think more clearly, perhaps I identify what I am feeling as burnout.
I'd be very interested in reading your upcoming pieces on burnout! Looking forward to your research and thoughts. Thank you!