You're not over 18, right?

So you must not be eligible to vote

When you look a little androgynous, or just don’t buy into looking like a rich, standard man or woman, people don’t quite know what to make of you.

A person who looked like he was in his twenties called out to me and my friend as we walked through a city park.

“Excuse me, ladies, are you registered to vote?”

We broke off our conversation that he had interrupted to give him the look.

We were both transmasculine, non-binary people, and didn't much appreciate being called “ladies.” We were wearing some combination of t shirts, pants, and sweaters. But, you know, strangers are going to think we're women.

I was ready to move on, but this guy calls out (get this) “Oh, sorry, you must be too young to vote! My bad.”

He sounded serious. I couldn't believe it.

You can vote starting at age 18 in the US…

I was in my early thirties. My friend was close to my age.

I didn't know what to say so I just kept walking. A minute later we burst out laughing. “Can you believe that guy? What?”

I mean, the incompetence is hilarious, but it's also sad that this person's assumptions and stereotypes were making his work much less effective. If the goal is to get as many people as possible registered to vote, especially marginalized people, you have to be inclusive in your language and your expectations of people.

Anyway, I am registered and plan to vote Democratic to protect the rights of women and other marginalized people in the upcoming Presidential, Senate, and House races. Some of these Congressional races are decided by as little as a few hundred votes.

Are you registered to vote?

Trans people are more likely than cis people to be discriminated against because of the way they look.

At the airport at the point where they check your ID, I lined up behind my partner in our travel group of two. I was wearing a high-filtration mask and a zoned out look appropriate for that early time in the morning. The TSA agent said something to my partner a couple of times about someone under 18. I figured that didn’t apply to me, but after the second time, I wondered, does she really think I am the child she’s talking about?

I handed her my driver’s license while she was still holding my partner’s ID, which perhaps she kept a hold of to compare last names as she presumed I was a minor traveling with my parent or guardian. She looked surprised.

After squinting at my ID for a minute, she had an epiphany. “Oh, you cut your hair!”

She handed my license back and I was free to go.

I fumed silently. This person was literally in the business of identifying people correctly. I guess she assumed I was what, 17 years old?

I was 17… 17 years ago.

And for those who are envious of people who look young, might I gently suggest there is a difference between being perceived as a young, conventionally attractive, successful 25 and a too-young, childish, needs-to-be-supervised 17.

I know that to some of our older readers, this may not seem like a big deal. Young people drama.

That’s true. It’s a very everyday interaction. But this is representative of what it’s often like being a trans or non-binary person. Boring and slightly frustrating, just like anyone else’s life.

I’m emphasizing the boring-ness because of how sensationalist the news has been lately about trans people.

Let me make a few things clear:

Children are NOT getting gender-related surgeries.

Children are NOT getting gender-related surgeries against their will.

Children are NOT getting gender-related surgeries against their will and without their parents’ permission. (I cannot believe anyone actually thinks this is a thing…)

People are not transitioning to win at sports and take over women’s spaces and take advantage of diversity hiring situations. (How can you attempt to uncomfortably remove trans people from society then also claim they are being trans to be more successful in society??)

Trans people are not your enemy.

We are not the problem.

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments.

Take care,

Rey