You don't have to love your name, it just needs to be comfortable. I had to choose my name before I could start writing about myself. I didn't know how much using my birth name was holding me back, a very nice name that made my stomach clench.
I won the trans lottery with my name (first and middle, spelling too). But even with a gender neutral name, I still considered changing it. Growing up with this name wasn't easy, and it took time to work through some of those scars. I can say now that I've begun to feel like it belongs to me more, and I'm relieved that I opted to keep it.
Thanks for sharing, Robin! That makes sense that you might associate your name with a time in your life that wasn't easy and want to change it. The perceived gender certainly isn't the only reason to change one's name. It's really cool that you were able to reclaim your name for yourself, in a way.
This all really resonates...names are so significant, and I think when we are trying to be a writer and/or change our genders, they become even more so. Your reflections made me think about how I don't know if I love my name yet, but this year, as I've started identifying as non-binary, it's felt more and more right. Even though Kelsey is more often a woman's name, there are men who are named Kelsey as well...and when I travel, not many people know the name, so it feels like it has less gendered attachments.
I stubbornly insisted on writing under my initials 13 years ago and I’m so happy I made that choice! I now am comfortable telling people that I actually prefer to be called “DL” instead of my given name, when before I had a lot of shame about that.
Always great to meet a fellow Rei :) Thanks for sharing your experience too, Ravyn! This does sound quite similar to my experiences with my names. Glad that you love your chosen names now!
Thank you for sharing your story, Patricia! That's a really meaningful and interesting way to choose your names, as a way of staying connected with your parents. I really appreciate your kind feedback and sharing with me.
I won the trans lottery with my name (first and middle, spelling too). But even with a gender neutral name, I still considered changing it. Growing up with this name wasn't easy, and it took time to work through some of those scars. I can say now that I've begun to feel like it belongs to me more, and I'm relieved that I opted to keep it.
Thanks for sharing, Robin! That makes sense that you might associate your name with a time in your life that wasn't easy and want to change it. The perceived gender certainly isn't the only reason to change one's name. It's really cool that you were able to reclaim your name for yourself, in a way.
This all really resonates...names are so significant, and I think when we are trying to be a writer and/or change our genders, they become even more so. Your reflections made me think about how I don't know if I love my name yet, but this year, as I've started identifying as non-binary, it's felt more and more right. Even though Kelsey is more often a woman's name, there are men who are named Kelsey as well...and when I travel, not many people know the name, so it feels like it has less gendered attachments.
I stubbornly insisted on writing under my initials 13 years ago and I’m so happy I made that choice! I now am comfortable telling people that I actually prefer to be called “DL” instead of my given name, when before I had a lot of shame about that.
Always great to meet a fellow Rei :) Thanks for sharing your experience too, Ravyn! This does sound quite similar to my experiences with my names. Glad that you love your chosen names now!
Thank you for sharing your story, Patricia! That's a really meaningful and interesting way to choose your names, as a way of staying connected with your parents. I really appreciate your kind feedback and sharing with me.